Liberal Diaries – Randall, April 28, 2009

Posted by Clyde Middleton on Apr 28 2009 Filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

(Editor’s note – (pretty funny that I seem to be doing a lot of these lately!) I’ve tried to figure out liberals and their logic without much success. I guess it is the “logic” part that assumes a fact not in evidence. So, instead, I am going to dive into the persona of typical liberal voters. Our first adventure is Randall, an openly gay man that flies from coast to coast on a regular basis. His partner is named Timothy. Future writings will introduce a few other folks that fit the demographic of a liberal voter.

Think I’m homophobic? Get a life. Some of my best friends are openly gay. The dialogue below is precisely common vernacular in the gay community. Got a problem with it? Prove me wrong, then look in the mirror and tell me who is the bigot here.)

Well, mouth agape and arms akimbo! There I was and, like, these PLANES come roaring out of nowhere. Well, I wasn’t there. I was in SF, but Timothy patched me through his iPhone. I could see and hear it all! He was crying. I felt so badly for him.

This big plane was roaring through the skies headed straight for SoHo. A couple of military faggot planes were riding next to it – like they could do anything! OMG!

The planes just left, of course, but I was all “What happened?” So I was reading the NYT’s baby brother, the Boston Globe, (you know, the one that got cash-sucking disease and they’re gonna have to euthanize soon like a mangy cat that won’t stop eating the Fancy Feast) and I found this:

The director of the White House military office, Louis Caldera, took the blame a few hours later. One of the planes was a 747 that is called Air Force One when used by the president.
“Last week, I approved a mission over New York. I take responsibility for that decision,” Caldera said. “It’s clear that the mission created confusion and disruption. I apologize and take responsibility for any distress that flight caused.”
Still, federal officials provided few details and wouldn’t say why the public and area building security managers weren’t notified.

Well, girlfriend, I don’t have to guess that President Obama didn’t have time yet in his busy schedule to appoint someone to that position. You just KNOW the dude’s a Cheney leftover. He’s MILITARY, for god’s sake! What an ass! He’ll be replaced now, you can bet your sweet bum. We need a girl there. Something about a girl in uniform is just dreamy …

Did you see that President Obama is going to make all those pathetic credit-card companies give us a statement that we can ACTUALLY READ? He made all these big execs come to WDC and he bitch slapped them about their business! Said something about a “default” rate which I didn’t quite get, but I think it means he gonna make them charge us less interest. God, I have so much debt. Is there anything he can’t fix? I mean, seriously, he is so focused. Mmmmm… that Michelle is one lucky girl.

Oh, I meant to tell you! That steroid-pumping puke Barry Bonds was at the Giants game yesterday. He has no shame. Anyway …

This Swine Flu is pretty scary, isn’t it? People getting sick and dying. Just can’t wait for the heteros to try to blame this one on us! When AIDS transmuted from monkeys, the clowns made so many inappropriate comments. It was just infuriating! Well, this one comes from pigs. Hello, Deliverance!

This article made me so mad! Just read this:

Adoption is one example. Planned Parenthood’s report boasts that, in 2007, “the number of adoption referrals at Planned Parenthood health centers increased by more than 100 percent. The number of abortions provided rose by a little more than five percent.”
The percentages appear significant until one examines the hard numbers. In 2007, Planned Parenthood increased its number of adoption referrals by 2,502 for a total of 4,912 referrals. But it conducted 15,560 more abortions during the same period, totaling 305,310 abortions in all. For every adoption referral, therefore, Planned Parenthood conducted 62 abortions. Whoopty doo dang.

So NOW they’re going after PP? These conservatives just won’t go away. So WHAT if it makes a ton of money? It should! Look at all the girls it helps! There’d be 300,000 unloved, unwanted, unneeded more rugrats scampering around from just LAST YEAR if PP wasn’t in the trenches doing the good work. Leave them alone! “Whoopty doo dang”? WTF, sister? And they wonder why we can’t have an intelligent conversation. Is there a different J-School where conservatives go? Do they get football helmets with their book order?

Look, I gotta run. Got a pedicure at noon!

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